I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
