Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
