Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
