I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
