You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
