remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
