Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
