I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Quick, to the slutcave!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
