Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
