We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
