So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
