I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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