i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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