i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
