I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
