Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
