i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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