high people should be assigned attendants
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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