Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
MIDGETS
????
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
