I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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