Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
