He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
