How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm at about main and main street
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
