Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
