Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
