hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
