Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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