are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
