Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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