Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
