Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
pray to the hookup gods
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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