You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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