When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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