I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
