He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
