the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's the barista slut.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
