I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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