Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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