umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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