they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize