i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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