I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
