Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
