So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
