he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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