how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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