if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
