Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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