I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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