i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
