So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
