I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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