They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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