Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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